How Do You Spell Relief?

Had you told me a week ago that the most difficult and painful aspect of recovering from surgery would have been the return of normal bodily functions, I don’t know that I would have believed you.

Still, it is likely very different for each woman that undergoes a full hysterectomy.  I have been consistent with my walks each day.  My diet has been good and I am ensuring that I get the necessary amount of rest.  The proverbial party girl has been sidelined.  Of course, I jest.

I went off the pain killers as they were turning me into a zombie and causing some serious constipation. I found relief and this seemed to be righting itself.

Saturday morning I woke not only bound up but with a lovely little flare up of those darling little things known as hemorrhoids.  As the day progressed I became increasingly agitated.  In a rather dramatic effort I found some peace.  I had taken the mild laxatives they suggested which doesn’t really mean much when a certain part of the anatomy decides to become inflamed.

And I was told not to push because I could rupture some of the stitches internally.  Oye!

My performance on my toilet seat last night likely resembled a death scene right out of MacBeth.  Yes, it was that dramatic.  At the end of it all I’d had enough of result to offer some relief.  Where are those pain killers?  Yes, I did have to resort to having one.  I was informed by a friend last week who has undergone a hysterectomy about some of the positions I might find myself performing during these sessions.

Last evening’s performance began with some brief theatrics that the Cirque de Solei may be interested in.  I am quickly developing a phobia about my bathroom.  My sleep last night was broken throughout with three visitations to the dreaded throne room.  Each time I awoke with the idea of visiting said room, I found myself quaking in despair.

Entering the kitchen Sunday morning I could smell the coffee my daughter had put on.  She smiled at me “Good Morning, Mom”.

I became a beast, I tell you.  I roared my discontent in a heated repertoire while she smiled soothingly at me.  It is likely the first time in a long while that I have not returned the daily greeting in kind.  We sat then and discussed my condition.  I have never had too many issues with this part of my anatomy.

The hemorrhoids were a result of child birth, but then many people suffer from them.  Our conversation began over coffee of how good it feels to relieve oneself.  She made the super shakes we’ve been drinking.  Yesterday we picked up some chia seeds to add to the mix.  I had not even finished my shake when the familiar rumble began.

Off I went and yes, success was mine!  I strutted back into the kitchen singing an operetta.

I have found a new respect for this ordinary function we all perform and can only pray that the healing will quicken and the body will right itself.

Until then, I shall continue to pay homage to any number of thespians as I continue with my recovery.

Peace out, my friends.