Stumbling Into the Future…

woman 2 Imagine this…I am dressed to beyond impeccable (and trust me, should that day happen I will have been raised to the status of either a saint or as the most wanton of women alive or dead as the case may be.)

In any event, I am asking that you use your imagination in this, so just think of me as the ultimate femme fatale.

I am just a seriously sinuously piece of female pleasure.

Oh the breasts are high and peaked.  Ready to shoot any amateur who dares to think a pinch and squeeze will do it.

And when I tell you that they once bore the names Lethal Weapons 1 & 2, believe me they earned their names. And while they may have ‘relaxed’ a bit at this stage of the game don’t assume they won’t beat you silly if you don’t handle them  with care.

These days I am  somewhat inflated.  Not the slim, trim machine I was a few years ago. I do know I’ll get there again.  This body was built to move and that it must.

So back to our fantasy then?

woman 1marilyn

Images from Google

I walk into a room of electric starlight.  All eyes turn to me.  I am wearing Calvin, off the rack no less.  A silver mesh dress of fleshy fabric that hugs every curve carelessly and with abandon.

My sexuality is a mantle worn much like the armor in days of old.  You either want me beyond all else or you despise me for it.

Every part of me exudes to mythical proportions what it means to be female.  I am the epitome of what legends are built upon

. dress 1Revival Vintage Boutique Carlos Miele Metallic Dress

Dresses from Google Images

And with long, confident strides I walk through the room.  I’m on fire.

Then my heal catches on the carpet and I find myself sailing, as if in slow motion, through the air.

The crowd gasps collectively.

I have been returned to my human stature, however humbly, and  am now laying spread eagle on the floor.

And what, you may be wondering, is where am I going with all of this?

It’s the examination of ego really.  Of what we create, of what we project…or what we think we project.

It starts as a child in the sandbox.  How you want to be seen and what in fact you manage to convince the world around you at that time that you are.

I guess in some manner it is just a part of growing up. These days, I’m not so sure. I fell asleep on the sofa the other night.  I’ve had five days off and in an effort to try and examine the world at this point in time, I isolated myself and then observed my state. I’ve been secluded.

Each day examining various stages that I’m at currently and in the recent past.

And so I woke on the sofa with the TV on displaying a long ago documentary on 2nd Life.  This weird, and in my mind, fucked up game where you create your alter ego.

The time put into playing this game is almost exhaustive to me as it seems to be like a full time affair.

And as each body part slowly came awake, I wondered if these people actually put the amount of effort that they do into their alter egos, who would they be?  And I wondered would they still be sitting at a computer screen telling a make-believe world  who they were and developing an online persona as such.

And as I watched people with real lives that were neglecting their families for this make believe world.  These people were becoming so emotionally charged and connected to these characters. CARLA SILVER

A character from 2nd Life (from Google Images)

 Now I have asked you to think of me in a certain way.  I have tried to sell it you with words.  Did you, for a brief period, see me that way?

Or did you simply laugh and think, ‘here she goes again.’

In either case, it doesn’t matter.  I’m not so two dimensional that a hot bod and perky tits can convince you of my complete female mythology.

At 2:00 AM I leaned forward now watching saddened by the documentary and what it revealed.  When, I paused to consider, did technology become sexy?  When did the creation of an animated being become more exciting that the real thing? 2nd life 62nd life 4

2nd Life landscapes & characters (from Google Images)

Then again, it really began with the automobile in terms of transferring our sexuality onto technology.

And somewhere in the mix over the last few years we think the epitome of sex is with a hard muscled man and a skeletal woman of extraordinary appearance.

Both are void of a single hair on their body except for the crown that adorns their head.

How wrong all of this is.

Sex is an exploration of one of the greatest gifts we humans can claim.  It is a beautiful study of sensation, imagination, and the resulting expression.

And my god, the imagination we’ve created in this one act.

Every year I will see any number of  two leather jackets (flying bugs) stuck back to back copulating.  In the last few weeks as I’ve walked through Queen’s Park I’ve noted the Peacocks wanting to mate.

Always, the male displays his foliage and with various moves tries to convince the female (who often looks very uninterested) that he is virile and ready.

Two very odd comparisons.

But do they feel?  As we do? There are species that do in fact mate for life such as the good ol’ Canada Goose. Crows, too, take a lifelong partner.

A few years ago there was moose featured on the evening news.  Seems he had it bad for a cow.

And we chuckle at such things.  Does it mean anything?  Not really.  Or does it?

Cleopatra was said to be the most desirable woman of her day.  Powerful, smart, beautiful. woman 4

Taken from Google Images

Yet the image on the drachma shows a woman that in this day and age would be considered far from beautiful by our standards. And I guess that’s the sticker. Perhaps that was their definition of beautiful. Still her sexuality it would seem as become legendary and mythical in its own right regardless of her appearance.

I’ve seen enough art pieces through the ages to know that what was desirable a thousand years ago doesn’t stand today.

imagesCleo 3cleo 4 (1)

Taken from Google Images

And I found myself wondering at 2:08 AM if woman have always had this dilemma.  To be appealing to the male of our species in a manner we believe will nab us the best of the bunch. Strange. And as I watched these people talking dirty to each other and living out their fantasy life through animated characters on a computer screen, I must tell you I was confounded. woman3

Taken from Google Images

Now it seems we are on a stage.

2nd life 2 2nd life 5

2nd Life Images taken from Google Images

Go on Craiglist and men are quite happy to take a picture of their penis and post it in its erect state.  And they will tell you they are ‘cut’ whatever that means.

And I feel deeply saddened that we now take pics of our genitals to try and excite and entice with these images.

If no emotion is involved in the act, then sex is very mechanical. Oh, sure, the body rush occurs…if it’s good.  And then what?

The loneliness   resumes. The want to be loved resumes and the crushing feelings of desperation return. So we sidle up to our computers and play games in forms that do not resemble us at all to express who we think we are.

And we continue to stumble into the future.


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