A Story To Be Told

Top o’ the morning to all of you!  I’ve been away for a couple of months now.  That is quite a stretch, I know!

Still, I’ve been busy.  I have a new job in downtown Vancouver that I am just loving.  It is great to be part of team.  I am excited and delightfully taking in new information on a daily basis.

I’m working on my second book.  Oh, I’ve got six on the go and for quite some time ‘Insomnia’s Dream‘ was occupying my attention.   I hit the wall in Chapter 15.  I had lost some of what I’d written one night as I poured out a chapter that I thought was fabulous.  And exhausted I didn’t save it.  Oddly this incident seemed to really bring me to a complete halt for that particular story-line.  I began to consider the direction I was going in the telling of the tale.  I read back through the previous chapters and I liked how the story that was unfolding.  In fact there were a few stories developing along with sub-plots.

I didn’t want this project to become a jumbled mess.  And sometimes when I’m in the emotional write state, my sweet little imagination runs just a bit wild.

The idea for this story had changed a few times already and while the plot had pretty much crystallized  I found myself now in a bit of quagmire.  This is a pivotal part of the story and I need to work out a few things so that it will all tie in at the end.

I’ll go back to it in a few months.  By then I’ll know which way I want to go with it.

I looked at my next project.  This was going to be a trilogy.  Still I had some indecision about this one as well.

So for about three weeks I really took a look at all my projects.   I streamlined them, deciding how these tales would eventually unfold, created characters and developed in point form the basic outline.  Yes, they all have a few chapters written at this point.

Still the trilogy was something of a puzzle.  This was the project I had chosen to work on next and I was doing research to ensure my fictional story was authentic, genuine and told with passion for the subject matter.   The subject matter of this story is the written language and our desire to communicate, to record our lives, to tell our truth.

As I slipped off to sleep a few months back the story came to life in my mind’s eye.  I was in that place where I wasn’t quite asleep but not really awake either.  Yet, my awareness was such that I knew this.  And I played out the story-line in those moments. Cemented the idea then drifted off into a blissful slumber.

When I woke in the morning, the trilogy idea was no longer an option.  This would be one story…one book.  At the moment I am still doing research and I am creating chapters.  It’s coming together and I am enjoying the process immensely.   The first draft should be finished by October 2017.  That’s what I’m aiming for.

Stay tuned!

 

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Time Be Flyin’ and the Beloved Characters on ‘Game of Thrones’ Be Dyin’!

 

This year has quite literally ripped past me with the speed of somethin’.

I think I had it in my head that by June 2015 I would surely have sold at least 100,000 copies of my book!  I would be getting ready to retire and devote myself to writing on a full time basis and begin the process of publishing others and building a giant of a company built on free thought, passion and creative genius!

I don’t expect much, do I, considering that I released the book in February 2015.

I am, of course, being a bit of tool here.

Realizing that public speaking was going to be a part of this journey that I’ve chosen and having done it a couple of times and in that process became a pool of human slush while I trembled and quaked before the masses (I’m exaggerating, of course), I joined Toastmasters.

I am trying to discover the key to distribution in book stores.  I have expanded distribution online and a small book store in New Westminster is carry a few copies of my book.

Now I contacted Chapters who referred me to iUniverse and everyday for close to two months Jessica Abbney has left me a message.  I will call her back, but what this iUniverse thing is appears to like an Authorhouse type thing where you pay them to publish your book.  I’ve published it.  Now I just want to distribute it.

My hot water is back on, though it’s still rather tepid.

I am finishing up physio and beginning active rehab to assist in recovering from the accident.  At this very moment, I’m exhausted.

I’m getting out and going for walks and end up being in absolute agony as the hips have a tendency to lock up on me these days.  Oye!

Also I’ve been practicing my writing of prose and poetry.

Have I mentioned I’m a little tired?

Keeping a clear head is paramount these days.

In the meantime I’m ordering and selling books on my own and I’ve been humbled by the gracious comments that the book has garnered and I’d like to share this with you from the Amazon site.

Most helpful customer reviews

 

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Arlene on April 26 2015

Format: Paperback

Nancy writes a powerful account of survival, being a child in an abusive upbringing and her long and uphill fight to find her true worth and embrace it as a grown woman and mother. Her story is well written and compelling!

By Kelly Mitchell on May 12, 2015

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase

I truly appreciate being able to read a story that is so bravely written! From start to finish, I felt like a part of Nancy’s struggles and accomplishments. This is such a motivating story and proves how anyone who has been dealt a bad hand can make a choice to make their life better. Thank you for sharing your story with me!

So I will continue on in this vein and try to keep thing rolling along.  Lately it’s the time thing. But I’ll keep the machine going.

Back in March 2015 I did something I’ve never done.  I ‘binge’ watched a TV series.  I initially started to watch ‘Game of Thrones’ part way through the 3rd season.  It was now available to me to watch all four seasons in their entirety then launch into the new season.

That show consumed me!  Sundays I’d get up early, do my laundry and other relative domestic duties.  I’d clean myself up, kinda sorta, because I had no hot water and dependent upon how my back was feeling…I’d sit to take in an episode of ‘Game of Thrones’.

This series has seriously brought out every emotion in me.  Last night was the finale for Season 5.  And I’m still in shock, still mad as hell, still….

I’ve not read the books though I will but after the series wraps.  I’m enjoying the ‘shock & awe’ aspect that this series has inspired.

Still, did they have to kill off John Snow?  But…is he dead.  While ‘binge’ watching the show I did pick up on a number of nuances.  What pisses me off is I have to wait another 8-9 months to find out what the writers doth do.

So we were left with Daenerys and a sickly dragon and she is surrounded by the horse people.

Cersei having walked her atonement will either buckle or become incredibly dangerous.  I’ve a feeling next season will see her darkness truly shine.

Arya, well I’ve a feeling she’s going to be a killer of sorts, all in good time.  There is a price for everything.

Stannis got what he deserved and the poisoning thing is getting old.

Well, maybe by the time the 6th Season of ‘Game of Thrones’ begins I’ll have sold those 100,000 plus books.

Dreams are better when they come true.

Peace out.

Babies and Birth: The Birth of People, Ideas and a Book

Last Saturday I attended Claire’s baby shower.  I am so very excited for her!  She is totally warming to the idea of motherhood now and getting rather giddy to boot.

I could see that there was a little fear in there too.  I wanted to tell her that this is a very normal response.

When the idea of a new life being born to this world hits a new mother, it can be a very powerful experience mixed with every emotion imaginable and a boatload of hormones to boot.

Claire will be just fine.

I then got to thinking of all the wonderful people I’ve met since I began writing in earnest, Claire being one of them.

She is one of the first people to have read any of my work.

I had joined up with the New Westminster Writers Group in early February 2011 which was a critique group.  I hunted about now wanting to find another group that would provide additional information on the whole writing thing.  I found the Vancouver Writers Social Group and joined in March of 2011.  They would get together and discuss various topics.  I liked this and found it was the balance I was looking for.

While I had written all my life I can say in all honesty I really didn’t know anything about it.  When terms such as ‘steam punk, fan fiction’ and the like were bandied about I had no clue what these were.  So I listened.  Claire offered to give me some feed back on the memoir I had begun so I sent her the first chapter then met with her a week later at a coffee house near her home.

I was prepared to be critiqued.  After all this would provide additional guidance on this project I’d begun.  She looked at me rather resolutely and stated “I really like how you write.  You could possibly have a best seller here.”

I was absolutely stunned by her comments.

And it occurred to me then that perhaps I was good at this writing thing after all.

The year of 2011 was a year of major breakthroughs on so many levels.

What I’d previously considered impossible now held merit and plausibility.  I needed to explore this further.

2011 was also a tough year emotionally.  I was stepping up to own those painful truths that I had denied for the better part of my adult life.  I was taking chances and stepping out of my comfort zone in a big way.  I discovered that my ‘comfort zone’ is simply what I’m used to, what I know and what I come to expect.  It can be a very stifling place to remain in.

Stepping outside of this mindset was the best thing I could have done to assist in my personal growth at that time.

I had to break down a few walls along the way though.

There were opportunities aplenty to change my mind and return the mediocrity of what I had known.  I teetered on this point several times.

But finally it was time to find out what was indeed on the other side of the mountain and my curiosity pushed me over the edge.

2011 was the ‘All or Nothing’ year.

I just wanted to feel again.  I didn’t want to over analyze or question…I just wanted to experience this life fully and without inhibitions.

And I remember the night I started to write the book in true sincerity and with vision.

I’d chatted for years about penning a book.  There were many starts of fictional novels.  I started a journal back in 2004.  In a light blue duo tang folder I put a package of 200 line sheets in it.

On the over I wrote “Welcome to the Human Race:  With This In Mind”.

It took me seven years to write 100 pages of longhand.

On that January night in 2011 I reached a serious crossroad.   I’d been out with my friend Kathy and we’d had a conversation that would ultimately resonate so deeply that it propel me to change how I was living my life.  That evening I sat in the corner of my bedroom where the computer was originally set up and with a glass of red wine in had and pile of notebooks and such decided it was time.

By July 2012 I’d finished the first draft.

And it was meeting so many other writers, Keith, , John, Gareth, Amber, Jonanne, Perry, Peter, Sonya, Issac….just to name a few that propelled me forward wanting to improve my skill set.

Claire’s initial affirmation was a major boost for my confidence and to continue on.

In the last five years I’ve finished and published my first book.  I’ve posted about 540 articles on this blog of mine and am developing six other writing projects.  A trilogy of the fantasy fiction variety exploring the evolution of the Written Word; an erotica fictional novel with the exploration of how we arrive at our sexual preferences at the core; a murder mystery and of course a romance.

This should keep me busy for a couple of years.  I also started my own publishing company and do hope to work with other writers as well.

Like all newborn’s there will be few slips and stumbles along the way.  That’s how we learn and grow.

I’m looking forward to meeting Claire and Denis’ little one.  Soon…

Peace.

 

The First Time Ever….

 

The traffic was horrible on this evening.  I left the office at 4:00 PM.  I would have to navigate over two bridges on this evening’s commute.  I listened to the first traffic report that indicated a few issues on some of the bridges.

As I passed through the Cassiar Connector. which is a tunnel just past the Iron Workers Memorial bridge (a.k.a. 2nd Narrows), the traffic was backing up and beginning to resemble a parking lot.  I opted to take the 1st Avenue exit and travel along Boundary Road to Marine Way and access the Queensborough Bridge via this route.

I was making a special trip this evening as I was on my way to pick up the books I’d ordered.

This would be the first time I saw my work in print.

I cruised along extremely well and motored to Big Bend shopping centre where the traffic kinda slowed to crawl and sorta stopped altogether at times.

I cranked the radio and checked the gas gauge.  I had a 1/4 tank and should be just fine.  I switched the engine onto economy the sat back and sang out of tune to the songs on the radio.

Time wise I really wasn’t worried as U.P.S. closes at 8:00 PM and it was just 4:40 PM.

The minutes ticked by as the gas gauge slipped closer to empty.  The wild imagination that inhabits this head of mine began to nibble anxiously as the possibility of running of gas surfaced.

I reassured myself and my vehicle that we would be fine.

An hour and half on the road and I was now approaching the bridge deck to the Queensborough.

Several traffic reports confirmed that accidents or breakdowns had somehow occurred on every bridge this day seemingly.

Michael Jackson crooned, “I wanna rock with you, all night…”

“You’ll get there” I whispered and ran my hand along the steering column like I would a familiar lover.

I squirted past the accident scene, saying a prayer and hoping no one was hurt.  I needed gas and I had to pee!

I seldom venture into this part of the world.  Surely there was a gas station somewhere around here?  Hadn’t I noticed one at some point?

I was down to an 1/8 of a tank when I saw the U.P.S. building and pulled in.

There was a fellow in front of me wanting to courier a watch face embedded with diamonds.  He wanted to insure it for more than $500 which was the limit U.P.S. apparently sets.  A kindly woman was on the phone making an inquiry on his behalf.

Twisting my legs a little tighter, I really didn’t mind waiting, I just need to pee!

The woman gave the fellow the phone so that the individual with the expertise could better explain to him why there was a cap on courier insurance.

After a moment she smiled and asked “Are you picking up a parcel?”

I grinned back “Yes.”

I handed her the tickets then asked if there was a washroom I could use.

She showed me where I could find relief.  Ahhhhhh!

Upon my return the fellow had left and the woman retrieved my package.

My heart suddenly skipped a beat and crazy excitement began to build.

Completing the transaction my final question was where I might locate a gas station.

She gave me directions and it really wasn’t far.  Now I had the car gassed up and a box full books…my books.

I got back on track and head home to New Westminster.

A warm pleasure ran through me then.  I had been on the road for just over two hours and that was cool.  I was now basking in a strange warm glow as I maneuvered back through rush hour traffic.

The euphoria was building as I crawled back over the bridge.  I pulled out my nail clippers and opened the box then fished about and pulled out a book.  Reaching out I ran my hands along the cover and felt the tears sting my eyes.

I needed to record this moment and I needed food.  There was no way I could cook as every part of my being had surrendered to the sweet emotions that had engulfed me when I saw my first ever book in print.

I order some food and a beer then opened the book reverently.

I gazed down at the dedication page and burst into laughter.  My first grammatical error glared at me.

To my daughter I wrote, “Not a day goes by that I do not appreciate the woman you ‘has’ become!’

I shook my head and smiled.  That’s just me trying so hard to get it right.

My daughter did the cover and I love it.  It works.

I knew I would come across a few spelling and grammar issues but I did try my damnedest to get it right.

And then I was just so overwhelmed by all of it.  I did it!  I really did!

This is a first.  This is a moment that will never come again.

Mistakes and all I’ve put it out there and bared my soul in the process.

While writing this book I found a strength and truth in my vulnerability that surprised me.

In doing this I am experiencing a  rush so sweet and pure….this is the first time.

Let me savour this for just a moment or two.

Peace.

 

The Birth of a Dream

 

 

http://www.amazon.com/This-Mind-Memoir-Nancy-Pilling/dp/0993846025/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1424326821&sr=8-1&keywords=With+this+in+Mind

(Above is the link to Amazon.com)

Here I am on the edge about to plunge into the world of publishing.

I’ve crossed over from dreaming about it, to making it real.  The book has now been published.

(See above)

And there is this part of me that still doesn’t quite believe it…pinch me!

There was for a moment that insecure part of me that insisted ‘It’s not good enough.’  These are the demons that have bound me in ‘If only…’ for the majority of my life.

I am past ‘If only…’

I am past ‘I wish I could…’

I am at ‘I can and I will.’

I’ve been thinking about some of the past conversations I’ve had with members of my writing groups.  We’ve discussed success and what it means to each of us.

I can tell you this.  Any one who writes a book and wants to publish it really does want to see their work do well.

We want to reach out to the masses and emote, entertain, touch and inspire.

We want our voice heard, understood in whatever genre we’ve chosen to express our creative self.  We look for acknowledgement.  In all the words we writers’ pen, they hold a part of our soul.

I’ve read obscure books that were brilliant.  I’ve read books so poorly written that were best sellers.

And the difference comes down to marketing.

A  few years back a fellow who attended a couple meetings of our writing group had published a book on Amazon.  Excitedly I asked several questions and then he told us that he’d taken it down after a week as there had been no sales.  I pressed for more information wanting to know what his marketing strategy had been.

There in lay the problem…he didn’t have one.

You can write the best book ever but you still have to market it and let the masses know its there.

Books do not and never will sell themselves.

Nothing will for that matter.

Vince appears on our TV screen and slices and dices his way into our homes convincing us that our lives will be so much better with this little gadget he’s selling.  How we’ve managed to get by without this item in our lives is really quite extraordinary.

I’ve watched infomercials and purchased items believing that I will benefit.

When the Dermawand was being marketed I had just entered into my 50’s.  With the promise of aging skin being tightened I had to at least give it a try, didn’t I?

And I did.

We’ve been inundated with products that will make our lives that much better.

Kitchen, beauty, diet and fitness items top the list.

Take this pill  and lose all the weight you want.  Workout just 15 minutes a day on this machine and you’ll have that six pack you’ve always wanted…guaranteed.

Hmmm  Really?

And now I’m thinking how to market this book…honestly.

Will it change your life?

I don’t know but it changed mine.

I hope that my book will bring some insight into the issue of abuse.  I hope that it will offer comfort on some level to those who’ve experienced this.  I hope they’ll know they have choices and they are not alone.

I want to work toward a day where we move past judgments, move past negative energy and move past living as victims.

And while I’ve mentioned those demons that still haunt, still taunt, I do know that they will never take away what I’ve found.  They are simply echoes from another time.

I hope you’ll read my book and that you’ll take something from the words I’ve written and the memories I’ve shared.

I can’t ask for anything more than that.

Peace.