Another Friday Night and the Sky Beckons


White whispery clouds caressed the early evening sky.  It reminded me of a lover’s breath once climax has been achieved and both settle into a warm embrace.  Gentle words and soft kisses, then the relaxed sigh as sleep envelopes you. 

I am at times mesmerized by these things that occur daily, often without notice. 

Earlier as I waited for the bus I watched the hustle and bustle of people enjoying this gorgeous summer’s eve in downtown New Westminster.

It has come a long way since I moved here. 

I watched an older woman walking with two companions up Eighth Street.  She walked with deliberate caution.  No doubt she had taken a lot of time to prepare for this outing.  Her face was powered, the hair coiffured, lipstick applied just so. 

In her youth I could well imagine her getting all dolled up and heading out to have fun on a Friday evening.  She wore heels that looked precariously dangerous to me and each step taken gave evidence that she had not done this in a while. 

I smiled remembering the last time I wore heels.  Indeed, by the evening’s end I wanted to cut my feet off as they were throbbing in protest at this treatment.

I wondered at her age.  Me, I am certainly no spring chicken as I creep ever closer to sixty.

Do I feel old?

Not in the sense that one may think.  A vehicle accident a few years ago just as I was rebounding from Cancer treatment.  The accident has affected my physical body and the trickle down effect of suddenly not being as mobile and experiencing pain daily impacted my emotional being as well.

Yet I still wake in wonder of each day that I am afforded.  Some days are better than others to be sure.  I try to find a little beauty, a little love, a little joy in each day.

At lunch, I’ll go to the kitchen in my office to prepare my mid-day meal.  A TV broadcasts the news of the day…the ongoing soap opera of all that is wrong in this world.

Experts and analysists dissect what all of it means.  Serious faces dressed in serious suites, ties and designer dresses discuss the implications and fall out of whatever else may have fallen from a certain someone’s mouth. 

Hamburg is on fire…closer to home forests are on fire.

Omar Kadr is awarded $10.5 million. 

People are furious!  Hey…he was 15 years old and tossed into Guantanamo Bay!  He was not offered the rights that should have been afforded him being that he was an underage Canadian caught up in a very bad situation. 

I for one hope he can find some peace and wish him well.  He’ll have that hell haunting him for a very long time. 

Since beginning my new job and once again taking transit, I‘ve been able to catch up on my reading.

“A House In The Sky” and “The Reason You Walk” I would strongly recommend.  I have read about five books thus far.  I lean toward memoirs. I read Tony Robbin’s latest “Unshakeable” as well and this will inspire you to invest wisely.

Still it’s when I get off the bus and witness a canvas of clouds whispering to the sky or wake to the sun kissing my toes through my bedroom window that I feel so connected with the air I breathe. 

I love when I smile at a stranger and their face lights up. 

A good friend of mine lives by the moniker ‘Kindness Matters’.  She is so right. 

And sometimes you have to just stop and appreciate the quiet beauty that is happening around you. 

 

Enjoy this day.  Spy on the sky, eavesdrop on the whispering wind.  You’ll never know the wisdom that may be afforded to you.

Have a very happy Sunday.

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I Do Know This….


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Cherry Blossoms over by Queen’s Park 

Over the past couple of days I’ve been very much in my head playing with plots and sub-plots for several of the projects that I have on the go.

They are in various stages of development.  Lately, however, I’ve found myself consumed by the aspect and the very idea regarding time.

A blog post that I’ve been working on recently and that I hope to post over the next couple of days speaks to the whole concept of time and where it may have had its beginnings and our interpretation of it.

I must say that this topic has intrigued me on a very deep level.

Last week I was flipping channels on the TV.  I came upon a documentary of a woman whose work involves trying to decode early forms of written communications.

The evidence is strewn throughout caves worldwide.  The similarities that exist cannot be coincidental.

What their meaning is, now that’s the puzzle currently being explored and may well be the mystery that is never solved.

A few conversations have been sparked this week regarding what part of history we’d like to visit, spy on or observe.  I found myself asking why my conversational combatants (i.e. friends) would like to experience those particular moments in time.

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I love getting into conversations with this depth as it ignites something in me.

For me personally, I would go back to the moment that humankind had its ‘Ah Ha!” moment.

Something happened some 40,000 years ago and that is where I’d like to be a fly on the wall or in a cave.

A friend laughed and commented that they didn’t like the idea because it would be too difficult to live in the days of the caveman.  Too much work and being dragged about held little appeal.

I smiled insisting they just may like it, then stated that I didn’t want to stay permanently…I just wanted to take a peek at what caused humans to begin to develop the art forms and rudimentary written symbols all within the same time frame on a global front.

Last weekend I found myself researching the whole notion of time.  Time vs. religion, time vs. creation, and for that matter, how time has been measured.  Right or wrong.

One article written by a member of the clergy discussed the time frame around God’s creation of Heaven and Earth and when we made an appearance.

Interestingly enough his take on it was that God didn’t whip the world up with all the animals and people on it in just six days then took a break on the seventh.  His reasoning was that the span of time it took had been misinterpreted.

He felt biblical time was likely more in keeping with 40,000 years.

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This intrigued me.

Now I’m not a religious person.  In fact, I find many religions to be very confining.  Being taught an ideology that does not invite exploration and free thought and where the truths being delivered are expected to be accepted based on blind faith alone is a little frightening actually.

I do know this.  There is an energy that permeates this universe and it is a beautiful thing to tap into this awareness, this consciousness that exists.

My issue is not with the message but rather with the messenger.

Now do you think it possible that maybe, just maybe something has been lost or perhaps omitted in translation?

Humans are by nature and design a rather impressionable lot, are we not?

We can be deviant and downright treacherous.  We are curious beings that are equally gullible and malleable.

Then there is this issue of power.  There are those who hunger for it even when they aren’t sure of what it is exactly.

Don’t you think it entirely possible that an omnipresent entity offered, imposed or bestowed a wisdom upon us and those blessed with this knowledge might well have deviated from sharing all of this to satisfy and/or further their own station in life?

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Why is it collectively we cannot come together to, oh let’s say, end world hunger?  I’ve heard it said that there is enough food to feed the masses and that is all of us ten times over on a daily basis.

Why are we not assisting each other when it comes to illness?  Think of the recent Ebola outbreak.  Man, the minute it landed in North America…by God, they found a cure.

What about AIDS?

Why are we still fighting for girls to gain an education?

Why are we still fighting for sexual rights and freedoms?

Why do we still judge and condemn?

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Every Christmas, while we all have the warm fuzzies, we wish for world peace.

This notion sells a lot of greeting cards, doesn’t it?

These are just a few things that in my mind I’m often amazed still exist on such a large scale.

Still, we wish for it.  Why?

We’ve known its opposite for far too long.

You cannot know or appreciate peace without having suffered the loss and sorrow caused by the upheaval of war.

Much the same with happiness.  If you’ve known the sadness, and most of us have, then we appreciate those moments of bliss all the more.

And we are so good at killing, are we not?

Images of men wearing black balaclavas’ with guns and machetes don’t strike me as a Godly men.

Oddly or perhaps not, the majority of ‘Gods’ at the helm of our religions worldwide dictate that certain behaviours and actions are unacceptable.

Killing happens to be one of them.  So, I will suggest that perhaps we’re not getting this whole commandment thing right.

 

And as I processed and developed my various characters and plot lines for those books that will soon be enjoyed by the masses, I thought of death and its finality.  At least on this plain and our fear of it. I created a new line of friction and the sorrow and pain my heroine will experience leading her to experience a great deal of anxiety regarding the choices she’ll have to make.

And on that note…

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I was here

Welcome to the human race.

Enjoy your day.  Namaste.

 

 

 

 

 

A Blogger’s Life


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Okay, I am feeling decidedly playful tonight. I’ve been editing.  And I must say, despite the topic and issues raised in this work of mine, I’m incredibly proud of what I’ve produced to date.

I’m polishing it up.  Taking those phrases when last I passed through this book of mine, which was a year ago, and defining them in a way that is more conducive to the meaning trying to be conveyed.

A year ago I had read through this work of mine approximately seven times or so.

And truth be told I didn’t want to look at it again.  For two years I’d worked on it and during that tenure, I had been living part of the book.

Emotions were at times volatile.  Behaviours were erupting in a tidal wave that I found myself swept up in with the only hope that when all settled, I would have survived and grown as a result.

Then on the heels of all these momentous changes came the health issues, shifting this life in yet another direction.

Really there was no other choice than to run with it.

Things have settled considerably now after some four years of some rather extreme challenges.

And now as I read back the words, let me tell you, I got it right this time.

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I have told  something so very personal that it exposes my vulnerabilities and fears to the world. I put out all my flaws and weakness’ without excuse .  I’m happy with the effort and result.

If you’ve followed this blog for any length, then you’ll know I want more than anything to become a respectable wordsmith.  To take this craft and be able to lend the words to such a favorable position that their meaning might well touch the reader in a manner that is positive and profound, that quite humbly is my only wish.

There is a blogger that I follow on this site with some 70,000 plus followers.  I loved his writings and his depth.

Now it seems every post is requesting finances from his followers for some crisis he seems to be having in his life.

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I’ve not reached such popularity, however, I have remained true to the purpose of this blog and shall remain as such.

I will never ask you to donate for my aging computer equipment,  nor I will never ask you fund my online subscriptions, for my health care, my rent, etc.

It has truly saddened me where he’s taken his blog.  This makes me wonder why we are all on this forum.

I, for one, read all the posts I’ve signed on to.  If I am moved to comment then I do.

Still, this morning, when I rose and checked my email and saw the blog from Christian stating ‘Help!” I knew he would again be asking for money.

I sighed wearily.  It’s just such a turn off.  Time to sign off.

For me this forum is where we can all come and express ourselves.  There is no expectation, and hopefully no judgment.

You either like it or you don’t.  It either speaks to you or it doesn’t.  This is a place where we can all share our thoughts and ideas.

But for fifty dollars, I could pay Christan to upload one of my posts!  After all he has some 70,000 plus followers.

Don’t we all wish for that?  And then I saw the posts being re-blogged as he said he would.

In some there was an odd desperation in these writers trying to gain exposure for their work.  Like me they probably don’t know shit about marketing.

He got lucky. What you have to understand in this world, is that sometimes people just get lucky.

There is an old saying that it’s 25% talent, 25% who you know and 50% luck.

I don’t know.  I’m not into statistics.

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I see this happen all too often though.  Someone becomes popular in their writing or delivery of words, written or oral.

And the price goes up.

Think of these so called prolific wisdom gurus such as Tony Robbins and the like.  Hell, the fees attached to their seminars are exorbitant.

If you’ve attended any of their seminars, what have you learned?

I can tell you now, they will not disclose any information to you that you’re not already in possession of.  What they’ve become masters at is unveiling such information in a manner that seems new and invigorating.

And I feel like that with a many of bloggers whom I’ve followed.

Then you have the ones that seem to be buying into their own ‘greatness’ after all, how could 70,000 plus followers be wrong?

And admittedly for a time, this confused me. I blogged about it.  Why were the words and thoughts I was expressing not being acknowledged by WordPress?  Why had I never been ‘Freshly Pressed’?

Then it came to me.  I am here only to practice the craft I love.  I will never ask for any compensation other than you like what you’ve read.

It’s just that simple.  I have no agenda to separate you from your hard earned cash.

If, what I’ve written, brings an emotional connection to you in any way, then I’ve done my job.

It’s just that simple.

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If we cannot share our words and expressions with honesty, then what?

Last evening, as I have done for the last six years, I boarded the Britannia here in Vancouver as a staff volunteer to kick off a cruise for the Pride weekend in Vancouver.

I have many friends who are gay, and you know, I learned a long time ago to judge people by what was in their heart.

So if I can assist my friends’ and make this celebration that much more exceptional, then I will.

I took my camera and snapped some 300 photographs on the cruise last night.

I spent another three hours today reviewing and correcting any inconsistencies then uploading onto my friends Facebook page, along with mine.

And as I did this, I felt blessed for the people I have in my life and even more so that I can write the things that I do.

Enjoy your day and thank you for stopping by.

Peace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Bad Hair Day?!


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You know you’re having a bad hair day when it’s not even your hair.

It was windy tonight, gusting up a storm for sure.  The rains came and with umbrella at the ready I braved the sidewalks of downtown Vancouver seeking the perfect gift for an up coming birthday.

My daughter will turn 31 years of age this Sunday.

Where does the time go?

I know what I want to get for her and part one is in the bag.  Now it’s on to part two.

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The rain now became torrential.  Sewers were backing up  rapidly and the streets began to transform into lakes.

I pushed on though.  Diligent in my pursuit of the task at hand.

Saw the item of interest at the first store.  Great price!  Still I had a couple of more stores to check out so back out into the wilds of Vancouver I went.

The street band that had been playing were now on a weather induced intermission.

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The lakes that had been forming when I entered the store now resembled raging rivers.

Rafting anyone?

The winds came up and tossed the umbrella unexpectedly which bounced against my head catching the wig.  Immediately I grabbed my wig holding it in place albeit rather awkwardly.

My real hair at the moment is about 1 1/2 inches in length.  And it’s doing some weird ass shit, let me tell you.

All my life I wanted curly or wavy hair.  Careful what you wish for.  I just may get it and I’m terrified.

This thick mass of dark ash blond with, according to a  member of my gym, red highlights in there as well is all curly cue on top.

The area where my bangs would be is curling straight up, as are a few other areas.  I’ll have to have a sit down with my hair and explain the laws of gravity.

Another gust of wind came up threatening to dismantle the wig from my head.  by the time I entered the second store I was looking a little disheveled.

I tried, without the benefit of a mirror, to smooth out the wig.

Jamie Dornan gets soaking wet jogging through the rain on 'Fifty Shades of Grey' set

Wigs, when blown all to hell, don’t fall back into place as would normal hair.  It will just remain sticking up in the most unnatural and unusual of positions.  The world will now know that this is not your real hair.

And in truth, I really don’t mind anyone knowing this.  I’ve gone without the wig on several occasions.

And if I had the bag with me that I use when I hit the gym I’d gladly have simply removed it and popped it into my purse.

I was appalled at the prices at the second store and debated going back then and there but the book store called.

I purchased two books. One is a favorite of mine.  ‘Who Has See the Wind?’ by W.O. Mitchell and the second ‘Traitor’s Blade’ by Sebastien de Castell.

Sebastien is a member of one of my writing groups and this is his first publication.  He’s a really good writer and I really want to support everyone on every level and enjoy some cool books in the process. I’ll have him sign it next time I see him.

Then I searched for a cover for my Kobo.

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It was back out into the deluge.  I wandered down Granville St. admiring the skies above me.  The clouds were churning furiously trying to make the falling rain pound down ever harder.

I was observing the re-construction of the old Eaton’s Centre.

Nordstrom’s is moving to Vancouver and the development is a little intimidating.  It looks expensive and it will most definitely be expensive.

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Photo of Granville Street back in the late 1950’s, early 1960’s

I’m feeling a little saddened at the Americanization of Granville Street.

Robson Street is fast becoming a vacancy lot as no one can afford the ridiculous rents.  ‘For Lease’ signs grace the vacant store fronts far too commonly these days.

And the stores that remain hint at elitism. If you don’t have the cash, then don’t come in.

I made may way to the third store and trekked up to the 6th floor.  I really wasn’t surprised that the costs were higher here.  Still, the item of interested was priced the same as at the second store and this did really did cause the eyebrows to raise speculatively.

I headed down to the 3rd floor to check out the new spring fashions.  Even tried a few things on.

Unfortunately my mid-section is still very much inflated.  I’ll have to work a little harder to get back into shape.  And I’m feeling a little angry at the cancer for inducing this weight gain.

Clothing looks awkward on me these days.  I look awkward on me these days.

Yes, I’m starting over with the running, with the gym.  I’m re-building.

Leaving the store I debated heading back down to the first store to pick up the item and decided to pick it up on the morrow.  It was 7:00 PM and my parking meter would be expiring.

I had also worked up an appetite so it was time for dinner. I plugged the meter then headed over to The Kingston for a nibble.

It looks quite forlorn these days.  Two condo / mixed-use towers are going up on either side of this quaint boutique hotel that houses a fabulous tap house and grill.

A memory flashed as I sat down.

A few years back my daughter and I come down to do some shopping.  We stopped at the White Spot that used to be around the corner from here for breakfast.  Then we shopped.  By 2:00 PM  we’d done some serious damage and had a blast in the process.

We came to The Kingston for a late lunch.  A lovely woman of Irish decent was our server.  The place was pretty quiet that day.  We laughed ourselves silly during our meal along with Megan, our server.

I slipped off to bathroom to clean up a bit.  The wig looked rather ragged as do I.

It’s okay though. I straightened myself out a bit and headed back to the table to order my meal and jot down a few thoughts.

Heading home I looked at this city of mine.  Vancouver is not wearing the mantel of this face lift she’s been given very well.  We have politicians that want to rip her apart and re-build her in their image.

I hope we can hold onto a few of the old familiars such as The Kingston, Denman Street, Davie Street, etc.

The rains have stopped for the time being.  Time to call it a day.

Have a great evening everyone.  Peace.

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Just Checking In: Re-Boot the Mission


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A few years ago I was gripped by an awakening of monumental proportions. I was certain there was no going back.  I had found the path to enlightenment and I was dancing dizzily into the light. I wandered along merrily dipping my toes into this modality and that modality.

I was intoxicated with the energy that ripped through me on a daily basis.  The mind was so fertile just waiting for the seeds I had so carefully planted and nurtured to blossom. Thoughts were turning into ideas and these began to just explode.

How do I contain this or is it even possible?  How do I channel the energy into factual results?  How do I take this and turn it into life?

There is something to be said for such awareness.  It’s rather static in a sense.

Having mapped out where I thought I was on this life journey of mine, I began to focus on the areas that I really needed to work on. I jumped into a vacuum of workshops designed to help me find the directions that were necessary to continue on in my evolution.  Many of the workshops I first checked out held very little purpose for me personally.  Eventually though I found the ones that targeted the areas that had me all tangled up.

And as I puzzled my way through, I had some stellar moments of clarity and insight.

I had this sensation that everything was new and fresh.  Things that I saw and experienced everyday suddenly seemed so very different.  I was looking at everything in a way never before.

For a good year I basked in this warm glow of discovery.  Every morning held a sunrise never before witnessed and every night held dreams never before imagined.

I derived joy from the simplest of things.  Yes, I was definitely way up on the happiness scale.

It is, however,  highly unlikely for anyone to remain in such a state of perpetual happiness.  Oh, you can be content and balanced and experience the quiet joy each day brings you.  Of this I have no doubt.

When that year of incredible awakening began to wane I didn’t panic and try desperately to hang on to it.  I simply let it go.  Everything moves in cycles, including me.

I’ve been considering how to deal with my verbal expressions.  Time to peruse some workshops that are beneficially in this regard.  I think too, I wouldn’t mind improving upon my listening skills as well.

I am good at listening.  Too often though, I’ll jump ahead and begin offering up solutions that were never requested.  There is this innate desire to fix the issue, correct the problem, have the remedy all laid out with a set of instructions to boot.

So the challenge is to take these well meaning ways of mine and turn them into something that is a little more solid and subdued.  A little more grounded maybe.

I don’t have to save the world. And if I did, would everyone like it?

And then a rather intriguing thought slipped in as I was writing this post.  Perhaps, just perhaps I was becoming too focused on my self perceived shortcomings and blockages. Seemingly I got the idea that there were just these few things that still needed ‘correction’ and then I would simply shine like the North star on a cloudless night.

Before me a thousand images moved randomly.  Each began as a pinhole now emerging as a collective that danced across the spans of time.  Forward they moved restlessly, transposed, disposed, changing constantly they melted into each other.  And I stood breathless, mesmerized.  The images flowed into my being, merging now to become one.

And I was whole.

Time to re-boot the mission.

Just Thinking…Am I Happy?


winnie_the_pooh_poohgroup_001_50121If you’ve noted that I’ve been a little quiet lately, you would be correct in your assumption.  I’ve been giving some serious consideration on which direction I want to take this little blog of mine in.

I’ve been reading several other blogs and much has been written with regard to New Year’s resolutions.  I took a look back at the year that we are leaving behind and the unwanted surprise that pretty much derailed many of the plans and ambitions that  I had begun the year with.

This is simply the way life goes sometimes.  For the most part I held steady throughout the course of the year.  Now I’m once again looking at the things I want to achieve with the promise of the year ahead.

One thing I do know, I won’t be putting things off.

Regarding this blog I have decided to review some issues that I’ve been struggling with.  I wonder at times if I in fact dissecting things to the point that they appear as a jigsaw puzzle on the floor with a 1,000 pieces then waiting to be put back together is the best execution of dealing with certain issues.

My reason for taking the puzzle apart in the first place is to find the piece that doesn’t fit.  More often than not, however, with this exercise I end up getting sidetracked.  So perhaps I just need to step back and look at the big picture and decide what it is that is out of sync then extract it.  If it were only that easy.

I am, if you are wondering just what it is I am yammering on about, thinking of personal growth.

In 2010 and 2011 I tackled some deep emotional issues.  Expansion and growth were prominent in those two years.  2012 and 2013 found me dealing with physical health issues.

As 2014 kicks off I’m wanting to be in a place where physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, intellectually and all other realms of my being are balanced….once and for all.

If someone asked you this simple question, how would you answer?

“Are you happy?”

When I asked myself this question my immediate response was to say ‘Yes!’

I paused, however, and really thought about this statement.  Happiness is to me a state of mind.  It is a balance.  None of us can be happy all the time. The world doesn’t quite work that way.  We need to know and experience sadness in order to appreciate and nurture the good things in our life that make us happy.

My answer to that question on this day would be this.  I am generally a very positive individual.  Each day that I am granted I really try to stay within the confines of being content.  But in truth, I’m not happy.  If happiness could be dictated on a scale of 1 to 10, I would give myself a 4.

winnie_the_pooh_eeyo_003_51310I am not dragging myself about like Eeyore with his doom and gloom attitude.  No, at this moment I’d liken myself to Winnie the Pooh with a honey jar stuck on my nose.  I want the honey, but I just can’t get to it.

Wouldn’t it be fun to be like Tigger and just bounce around on your tail on day long? There is a certain delight in such simplicity.

But at least I am in the happy zone. Still, what I want to tackle in the next few weeks regarding this blog of mine is to visit the areas of my life where blockages still exist and explore them.

So that will begin very soon.  There are three categories that are really tough for me.

1.) Love & Intimacy

2.) Confidence

3.) Self-Expression

The third one may surprise you.  After all, I pour my heart and soul out at times in my posts.  Writing things down has always been my saving grace and likely kept me relatively sane at times. But when it comes speaking these feeling of mine, quite another matter.

In confrontations I usually collapse and become a child.  Shrill and nonsensical rebuttals with a propensity to cry uncontrollably.  To say I’ve become very good at avoiding confrontations would be an understatement.

I can counsel people beautifully but can I take my own advice?  Nah. Too easy.

That’s what I will be focusing over the next month.  As always your thoughts and comments are welcomed.

Enjoy your day.

Questionable Behaviour?


All the bandages are off and I have some small red marks on either side of my belly button that will likely fade over time.  I am quite impressed.  I was expecting….well, I don’t know what I was expecting.  Frankenstein scars maybe?  I used to refer to my belly button as the starter button. It needed to be pushed in order to get me going.  My mom or dad would push it and I would giggle uncontrollably being a wee bit ticklish you see.

I am really happy with how quickly the healing has occurred thus far.  Just a little tenderness remains and my energy is way below what I am used to.  Still, everything improves daily and I can’t ask for more than that.  The body went through quite the trauma.

Today I meet with the chemotherapy doctor.  This one has me nervous. On the weekend I researched Hemp Oil.  We do have distributors in Vancouver that are legal and will provide medical marijuana and hemp oil with THC.  A doctor must approve this.  I have printed out a form to take with me to the doctor’s today.  Part of the discussion on my end will be remedies for any pain I may endure as a result of the chemotherapy.  From what I understand it can be quite painful and as I stated before, I am a wimp when it comes to pain. I may not need this at all but I want the option open to me should it be required.

I don’t want to smoke so I checked out at length the hemp oil and am quite impressed.  For the record, if you take the doses as prescribed you won’t get high.

I have been in touch with an organization called Westcoast Medicann here in Vancouver.  A fellow named Jay will be providing me with nutritional information as well. He also mentioned Apricot Kernels which I’ll be checking out.

I am not a fan of pharmaceutical drugs.  If I can find a natural product that will provide the remedy I need then I’ll go down that road.  Keep in mind that hemp oil with the THC has been around a very long time as a medicine.  Marijuana and the production of hemp were outlawed in the 1960’s when the mass populace of young people began using it ‘recreationally’.

LSD was in fact being used experimentally on students legally.  If you are of an age to recall Dr. Timothy Leary sitting on campus higher than a proverbial kite instructing the masses to ‘Turn on, Tune in and drop out’.

It was, by all standards, a very tumultuous time.  Major changes were occurring on several fronts.  Still, we have so far to go.

My point in all this I suppose, is just because a natural product such as marijuana or hemp oil can alter behaviour if used incorrectly does not mean that it is ineffective and should be denounced for its medicinal properties by the medical community.  If fact, we now have commercials warning parents to speak to their children about ‘prescription drug abuse’.  There are many drugs out there that are dangerous to your health  that are manufactured.

Yet because marijuana and hemp were outlawed, suddenly the medicine they provide became irrelevant.

I don’t use drugs recreationally.  Oh yes, I tried smoking dope in my formative years.  It put me to sleep.  I didn’t see the point of going to a party and smoking a joint only to sleep through the event.  I never had any interest in the other drugs that were floating about and there were many.  Perhaps as I watched people take handfuls of reds, uppers, downers, bennies, etc. that were set out in candy dishes resembling a bowl of odd-shaped SMARTIES and wash them down with a shot of whiskey their crazy ass behaviour following this was a deterrent for me.  Watching someone twitch uncontrollably and babble incoherently didn’t strike me as being a behaviour I wanted to emulate.

At one party I recall a guy who sat talking to a sleeping dog.  This guy wailed in an animated and emotionally charged manner.  He sobbed and pleaded with the animal to understand his point.  He was oblivious to what was going on around him.  Occasionally the dog would raise his head and wag its tail, then go back to sleep.

Prescription drug abuse is on the rise at an alarming rate yet they aren’t being outlawed and they won’t anytime soon.  Pharmaceutical companies control more than you want to know.

Last night as I drove home from work listening to the radio, the DJ was discussing the events of a beer drinking contest.  “How much beer could you drink in 20 minutes?” she asked.
I thought if I was really thirsty perhaps two, but likely only one.  I can’t recall where this beer drinking contest was but a guy drank 6 litres of beer in 20 minutes.  I thought immediately, “Holy shit!  That is a lot of beer!”

Guess what?  He died shortly thereafter.  I, for one, am not surprised.  Too much alcohol in your system will result in poisoning.  I had to wonder why people have these type of contests anyway?  It is the same with pie eating, hot dog eating….not good for you!

Should beer be outlawed?  I think if you tried to do that the revolt would be huge.   And beer has no medicinal properties.  It simply tastes good.  Here in British Columbia we have fabulous craft beers and grow some of the finest marijuana in the world.  If you asked me where to buy this marijuana, I wouldn’t know but if you hang around certain areas of the city I know that someone will ask you if you want to buy some.

I really would like to see natural remedies be welcomed back into the medical community.  The thing is a naturally growing substance such and marijuana cannot be patented.  You can farm it and make the products and sell them but you cannot patent them.

The other thing I want to mention is food.  Much of the food produced is not good for you as well.  They say that 80% of what is in our supermarkets is industrial produced food.  The natural foods I am told are usually on the parameter of the store such as produce, etc.

I would like to see natural remedies be included in the visit to the doctor.  Too many times doctors prescribe medicines after being briefed by pharmaceutical reps.  In any case, I just wanted to make mention of this as I do feel it is important.

Enjoy your day!

Live Forever….


Immortality…a concept we humans have fantasized about most likely since the dawn of our time.  I wondered at what age I would want to stop aging and remain forever frozen in my conceived perfection.  Then I wondered if I would get bored with this visage considering I would have to live with this reflection forever.

Of course the next question to follow was ‘Would you want to live forever?’

I don’t think I would.  What I do know is that for the time that I live, I want it to matter.  Mortality has been on my mind a bit these days.  I  suppose it is a natural consideration when progressing through an illness such as cancer.  I don’t want to live forever, I just want to live a long life dedicated to love.  Dedicated to learning and expanding and dedicated to healing, sharing and assisting in improving the human condition.

My pelvic region is sore this morning.  I am feeling a little more bloated today.  I am having my coffee and gazing out at my deck watching the way the sun plays on the bushes that surround me.  I like to think of it as my secret garden.  Through dappled leaves and bushes I can see the world going by but can it see me?

I have my date set for surgery.  June 27th I will settle up with cancer and we will part ways.  Despite the discomfort that will likely follow I am so looking forward to this.  Then I am going to rest this body of mine before offering the challenge to self to achieved the best state of wellness ever.  I want run again, get back to my early morning gym routines and find my yoga body once more.

My run leader Lara has suggested that I aim for running the Turkey Trot which is a 10 km run in October during the Canadian Thanksgiving Day long weekend.  I have never done this particular race but decided that not only would be an excellent goal for my recovery but also how meaningful to coincide with that time of year we reflect upon our good fortune and blessings and celebrate them.  I have much to be thankful for.  I will commit to this race and who knows, maybe I will break the one hour barrier for a 10 km.

That is in the minds eye now.  It will be the first race run cancer free.  I can’t wait to cross the finish line.  Each victory is an affirmation of the life I am fighting for.  Each accomplishment adds strength and wisdom.  The heart expands and grows and encompasses me in this thing we call love.

I may not live forever, but I am here for the long haul.

Enjoy your Sunday everyone.